Post by completelydone on Dec 1, 2007 20:43:00 GMT -5
www.pureintimacy.org/gr/intimacy/information/a0000176.cfm
Below is only a small snipet of what is in the article. A very good read on how to deal with this mess:
F = Fear not
A = Assess your support system
I = Insist your spouse decide
T = Talk to a trained Christian counselor
H = Heed biblical principles
I = Insist Your Spouse Decide
You must be clear with your unfaithful spouse. He or she must decide to have you alone as a marital partner. He cannot have you plus his other mistresses, be they prostitutes, pornography, girlfriends, strip clubs or whatever else takes him away. She cannot expect you to continue as if nothing is wrong, while she has another man online or waiting in the wings. Do you remember your vows taken before God to “forsake all others?” That applies today, tomorrow and always. Insist on it!
Many marriages end in divorce or exist simply as a piece of paper at City Hall because the spouse of the sex addict was unsure of himself or herself. This is not the time for you to get weak-kneed or cater to any of your codependent weaknesses. If you have any hesitation about whether or not this is a healthy biblical position, please read the best book I know for explaining these principles, Love Must Be Tough by Dr. James Dobson.
If you allow your spouse to continue with the affair or pornography use, the disrespect will continue. This leads to contempt, which offers the least likelihood of saving the marriage. Also, you are at greater risk of slipping into depression or suicidal thinking.[/color] [/quote]
Below is only a small snipet of what is in the article. A very good read on how to deal with this mess:
F = Fear not
A = Assess your support system
I = Insist your spouse decide
T = Talk to a trained Christian counselor
H = Heed biblical principles
I = Insist Your Spouse Decide
You must be clear with your unfaithful spouse. He or she must decide to have you alone as a marital partner. He cannot have you plus his other mistresses, be they prostitutes, pornography, girlfriends, strip clubs or whatever else takes him away. She cannot expect you to continue as if nothing is wrong, while she has another man online or waiting in the wings. Do you remember your vows taken before God to “forsake all others?” That applies today, tomorrow and always. Insist on it!
Many marriages end in divorce or exist simply as a piece of paper at City Hall because the spouse of the sex addict was unsure of himself or herself. This is not the time for you to get weak-kneed or cater to any of your codependent weaknesses. If you have any hesitation about whether or not this is a healthy biblical position, please read the best book I know for explaining these principles, Love Must Be Tough by Dr. James Dobson.
If you allow your spouse to continue with the affair or pornography use, the disrespect will continue. This leads to contempt, which offers the least likelihood of saving the marriage. Also, you are at greater risk of slipping into depression or suicidal thinking.