to january re: phone call and

[karen]

january wrote in a thread on the original board>>.....else these strange things are happening as a result of him doing something?

Anyone have a clue on this? I guess I just have to chalk it up to "one of those things", but the phone call this morning made me feel really strange, and hurt. >>

hi january,

the exact same things happened when i was married. I had answered the phone one day in his absence, and didn't recognize the female voice. when i inquired "who's calling?" she identified herself as being from a local escort service. my ex claimed he had no idea why he'd get such a phone call, and since i wasn't yet aware that he'd been utilizing such services, i believed him.

around this same time period, we also got postal mail from the same agency, as well as a few others. again he said it was a fluky thing...again i bought into the excuse.

a few years later, i discovered he'd been booking appointments with prostitutes for almost a decade.

karen

[february]

oh, my, oh my. Yes. Yes, that's it, I'm sure. Thank you for helping me understand.

I wondered so much about this. I also wondered after his divorce 3 years ago why he immediately went out and got a vasectomy. I asked him, why, were you married for 10 years to a gal who didn't want kids, why did you go out and get a vasectomy right off the bat after she left? Why didn't you get one while you were married to her, since kids were never going to be a part of the equation? He had no answer. He said, I always wanted to get one.

There's just too much weird stuff going on here. If it weren't for this board (...I'm still getting used to this new format ...) I think I'd be going very much over the deep end.

Thank you so much for giving me insight. This is really so hard to deal with, especially because I do care about him even tho it will be just as dear friends. Wow, this is a lot to think about.