brand new to the boards!

[imdone]

Pretty bad day over here, but I'm ready to start a new one. My girlfriend and I have been together for just about 4 years now and I feel like I'm more than happy with our relationship, but there is that evil that is breaking us down from time to time.

She saw material on my computer today. This is the third time that this has happend within our 4 years together each different time ending with me saying that I would stop. Since the last time I got "caught" I've been lying to her for 2 years and it kills me inside; now especially because our entire relationship is put into perspective.

She is obviously still very very upset and dissapointed, but reassures me that we can work through this.

This is it though, I've got to stop. I feel like I have the right attitudes and know that I've got a problem to conquer. I just want to be clean. I'm actually excited for this because I feel like it will open up new worlds for us.

Where is the best place to start on here?

[breakingfree]

Imdone,

Commit to spending as much time each day on your recovery as you did in your P use. Read the forum, be active here and ask questions, formulate a recovery plan.

Start a daily journal RIGHT NOW (in the journal forum,start a new thread)

Download Wes"s Ten Keys (top of page). Make a daily commitment to sobriety.

BE RIGOROUSLY HONEST TO YOURSELF AND TO YOUR GIRLFRIEND, ABOUT EVERYTHING. LYING BEHAVIOR IS ADDICTIVE BEHAVIOR.

You have a taken a very big, important first step by coming here and posting. Come back daily. Continue the walk, one step, one day at a time.

bf

[yellowdart221]

I agree with bf. I was once on this board a long time ago and i left, i couldn't go 2 days without MB or P, there was alot going for me then that i didn't realize until about last week when i decided to come back here, this board was the reason why i had everything because i was breaking my addiction and thought this board was doing nothing for me, stopping going to this board was the worst thing that i did. These people here helped me so much and i didn't even know how much they helped me out not including hundreds of others that have visited and are part of this board before and after i joined.

Like i said, when i stopped coming to this board it didn't help me at all and now I'm back and I'm on my first day without one thought of temptation, even as i type this message. This board basically saved me from P and MB and i know i can break my addiction this time now that i am back. just stay though it and we will all be here when you need us.

[kyle]

Imdone,

To start things off I want to say this. Like all my other initial posts, the words here are completely heartfelt. I have written several to new folks and I have the same intent behind each of them, but it is sometimes hard for me to get the words right. I have made this one that I send to the newcomers and want you to know that I mean everything written. I think John has a similar thing and I agree with him that These are sincere words to you and each new person here.

I first want to welcome you to the first day of your new life. I, and many others, will tell you that you have taken a HUGE first step in your goal of recovery. You have opened yourself up and allowed others to see and for many, that is the Hardest part of all. Truly admitting that you have a problem is big in starting your recovery.

I am glad that you have chosen to seek out help. I waited much too long, 20+ years, and it nearly destroyed my family. Congratulations on seeing this as a problem and taking the appropriate steps to break free.

As for me, I follow God. I know others here do not have the same beliefs as I, and they will be sharing with you as well. I follow my faith very closely now and have grown a lot because of that. I have begun a free on line course at www.settingcaptivesfree.com called the way of purity. This is a biblically based course that I have found extremely helpful with my recovery. there are several of us on this forum who I have seen are committed to this course and have been helped by it.

Secondly, there are several book that are very good reading and have excellent advise to follow. I am currently reading The Exemplary Husband by Stuart Scott . I have a couple more waiting in the wings to read; Facing your Giants by Max Lucado and a couple that are also marriage related. The seven principles for making Marriage work by John Gottman and The war Within by Robert Daniel. I have found these very helpful so far and look forward to picking up th next book to continue in the right direction.

Third I would suggest coming here often. I come here daily and read what others are going through and it helps me to see where I was, where I am and most importantly, where I am going. Focus is a key and maintaining that focus will carry me through.

Again I welcome you and wish you great successes in your recovery from this horrible sin that has plagued our lives.

God bless you and yours. Keep the faith my Brother,