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Post by completelydone on Dec 14, 2007 20:36:26 GMT -5
My thoughts are there are much better ways to learn to be grateful than being a PA, SO, or any other such thing.
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facingit
Full Member
One day at a time
Posts: 111
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Post by facingit on Dec 15, 2007 11:46:56 GMT -5
The statement above is incorrect because it wasn't God who made this guy a PA, that was all his own doing. I am grateful to God (and to this board) for turning my life around and showing me a better way to live. But that doesn't mean that I have any positive appreciation for being a recovering PA - I just accept it as fact of life. I was not suggesting God "makes" anyone a PA or anything else sinful. Rather, God "allows" us to be tested. If you do not believe this, read the book of Job. I think, although I am not sure because I am still at a very early stage of recovery, that part of recovery may be letting go of bitterness and resentment. Does this not include the bitterness and resentment we harbor towards our addiction? I know this may seem like a brazen statement, but it is not meant in a bold or brazen way at all - just a thought put out there to ellicit conversation.
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Post by addict70 on Dec 15, 2007 12:03:46 GMT -5
The statement above is incorrect because it wasn't God who made this guy a PA, that was all his own doing. I am grateful to God (and to this board) for turning my life around and showing me a better way to live. But that doesn't mean that I have any positive appreciation for being a recovering PA - I just accept it as fact of life. I was not suggesting God "makes" anyone a PA or anything else sinful. Rather, God "allows" us to be tested. If you do not believe this, read the book of Job. I think, although I am not sure because I am still at a very early stage of recovery, that part of recovery may be letting go of bitterness and resentment. Does this not include the bitterness and resentment we harbor towards our addiction? I know this may seem like a brazen statement, but it is not meant in a bold or brazen way at all - just a thought put out there to ellicit conversation. I'm also in the early stages of recovery but here's how I feel about it. It depends on what your bitterness and resentment does for you. I think there's a difference between energy wasting bitterness and pro active anger. For me to be bitter is the old me, it's just self pity. I'm no longer bitter, I am really angry. I hate this part of myself differently now than I did before. Before I hated it and stewed in that self loathing causing me to act out. Now I'm sick of it, I hate it so much I'm compelled to destroy it. Later maybe some sort of cathartic peace will come, but right now I'm using my anger. I need it. It helps drive me. This might be a good one for some of you guys with more time under your belt to comment on.
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Post by manic on Dec 15, 2007 14:55:05 GMT -5
facingitMy point exactly @addict70As far as bitterness, anger or any other emotion towards PA: I agree that it very much depends how you deal with them. But it has been pointed out many times on this board that, for us addicts, that is precisely the challenge - if we had healthy ways to cope with emotions we probably wouldn't have turned to P in the first place. So turning from bitterness to anger may be a great step forward, but I hope it's not the last one you'll take.
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Post by addict70 on Dec 15, 2007 15:13:33 GMT -5
facingitUnderstood. Right now it's so hard I use whatever I have to curb my impulses. If at the moment I thought painting myself purple and sacrificing a goat to the gods of chastity would work, I'd do it. I should'nt pretend to have much clarity on my emotional state however. Know where I can find a goat?
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Post by completelydone on Dec 15, 2007 16:36:03 GMT -5
The statement above is incorrect because it wasn't God who made this guy a PA, that was all his own doing. I am grateful to God (and to this board) for turning my life around and showing me a better way to live. But that doesn't mean that I have any positive appreciation for being a recovering PA - I just accept it as fact of life. I was not suggesting God "makes" anyone a PA or anything else sinful. Rather, God "allows" us to be tested. If you do not believe this, read the book of Job. I think, although I am not sure because I am still at a very early stage of recovery, that part of recovery may be letting go of bitterness and resentment. Does this not include the bitterness and resentment we harbor toward our addiction? I know this may seem like a brazen statement, but it is not meant in a bold or brazen way at all - just a thought put out there to elicit conversation. God does not tempt us with sin, nor does he sin. In 1. Cor. 10:13 it says he always provides a way out of temptation for us. He tells us to avoid the very appearance of evil, so how/why would he allow us to be tested by something he tells us to avoid all together. That's like saying, I test my children to not play with a loaded gun by leaving one on their bed for them to wake up to. God didn't test Job; read the end of the book.
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Post by unico on Dec 16, 2007 8:12:00 GMT -5
No, but i am glad I have committed to never using porn again
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Post by nrobinson on Dec 16, 2007 11:05:36 GMT -5
God does not tempt us with sin, nor does he sin. In 1. Cor. 10:13 it says he always provides a way out of temptation for us. He tells us to avoid the very appearance of evil, so how/why would he allow us to be tested by something he tells us to avoid all together. That's like saying, I test my children to not play with a loaded gun by leaving one on their bed for them to wake up to. God didn't test Job; read the end of the book. Also, and it's funny, I just happened to run across this passage this morning, in James 1, James writes to have joy facing trials because when you are successful, you develop perseverance (verse 2.) Verse 12: Blessed is the man who perseveres under trial, because when he has stood the test, he will receive the crown of life that God has promised to those who love him. Keep persevering, everyone.
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facingit
Full Member
One day at a time
Posts: 111
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Post by facingit on Dec 16, 2007 23:01:42 GMT -5
That's like saying, I test my children to not play with a loaded gun by leaving one on their bed for them to wake up to. God didn't test Job; read the end of the book. I'm not sure how your utterance "God didn't test Job, read the end of the book," makes sense. The entire book of Job is a meditation on a just man whom the Lord allows to be tested by Satan. "And the Lord said to Satan, Behold, all that he has is in your power..." Job 1:12. Now, this in no way excuses sin. Even though Job was tested, he never sinned. However, God does allow us to be tested for reasons that only he can completely understand. As He says in the end of Job, "Where were you when I founded the earth? Tell me if you have understanding... Will we have arguing with the Almighty by the critic? Let him who would correct God give answer. Then Job answered the Lord and said, Behold I am of little account; what can I answer you?" Job 38:4, 40:1-4 Job is one of the most profound, mysterious and terrifying meditations on human nature found in any religious tradition.
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Post by straightpepperdiet on Dec 17, 2007 0:27:52 GMT -5
I am not grateful to be a porn addict but I'm grateful that there is a solution to be my porn addiction and that I got almost 2 days clean from it. I'll sometimes hear someone share in an AA mtng that they are grateful to be an alcoholic and I think that's ridiculous. As an alcoholic, I'm grateful to be sober. A PA saying he is grateful to be a porn addict is saying he is grateful to have a disease and just because we learn things about ourselves in recovery doesn't mean the normies are missing out something.
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yackers
New Member
Wisdom begins in wonder.
Posts: 11
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Post by yackers on Dec 17, 2007 13:58:23 GMT -5
disclaimer: not a good speller
Maybe hinsight is 20/20, but as a newbe who just took ownweship of my PA. HELL NO!! I'm sure if i wasn't like this there would be many opportunities and experiances that would present themselves in my life to reach higher levels of clarity. I look at this PA as a serious diversion to what I could have been. I'm not blaming the addiction though, so please dont get me wrong, I take complete ownership, it was my choice, it was a bad choice, now I have to move forward. But I think of wasting away my life rewinding tapes and tiptoeing around and keeping myself at an arms length from other people. I could have become fluent in latin, cured the common cold, or even become a better speller. But, Nooooo I chose P and and I'm not glad about it.
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Post by zerotolerance on Dec 17, 2007 15:51:36 GMT -5
I've finally reached the place where I am beginning to understand statements like that. I'm starting to be grateful for all I have been through, because were it not for these problems, then I would still be walking around in the dark, thinking I was in the light, when I really wasn't. There was light, but nothing like what shines in my heart and soul now. My former enemies have become merely footstools in my rise to recovery. Were it not for them, I would have never even began this horrid journey. And without this journey I would have never found ME! I like me. I'm glad to be me. So therefore I am grateful for all the lessons I learned to get here. I hate they way they played out sometimes, but I am grateful for having experiences that caused me to grow, even though they sucked at the time.
It's a BIGGER PICTURE view than any thing we can imagine while we are still stuck in the lies somewhere. It's a blind spot that we can't see around from where some here are at imo. Don't try to imagine it, because you can't. Just keep going forward, without trying to imagine anything. Fill yourself up from the inside out, and get all the filters and lies out of you, then you'll understand what he means imo. It's a blessing to be whole. And we know that, when we get whole. Everything that contributed was a blessing in disquise. He didn't like being a PA either, but he likes that it catapulted him into a freedom he couldn't once imagine. I didn't like being abused, nor emotional messed up myself, but I am becomming more and more glad for having had the experiences as I get closeer and closer to being fully integrated, and as I get healthier, mentally, spirtually, physically, and emotionally. Because if they hadn't happened then I wouldn't be as healthy today. We can't see this through a corrupt mind, nor our soul holes, because it is specifically gaining "a whole soul" and a "healthy mind" that we end up being so grateful for.
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Post by completelydone on Dec 17, 2007 16:08:08 GMT -5
That is actually a mistranslation of what God said. God didn't allow Satan to do anything. Job's fear was the cause of his trials. His fears allowed an open door for what happened in his life.
As I said, read the end of the book where God goes on a several page tirade about being accused of being the one behind what happened to Job. He clearly says he did not do those things to Job. (neither directly nor indirectly by "allowing" it).
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Post by completelydone on Dec 17, 2007 16:10:27 GMT -5
God does not tempt us with sin, nor does he sin. In 1. Cor. 10:13 it says he always provides a way out of temptation for us. He tells us to avoid the very appearance of evil, so how/why would he allow us to be tested by something he tells us to avoid all together. That's like saying, I test my children to not play with a loaded gun by leaving one on their bed for them to wake up to. God didn't test Job; read the end of the book. Also, and it's funny, I just happened to run across this passage this morning, in James 1, James writes to have joy facing trials because when you are successful, you develop perseverance (verse 2.) Verse 12: Blessed is the man who perseveres under trial, because when he has stood the test, he will receive the crown of life that God has promised to those who love him. Keep persevering, everyone. It doesn't say that God gives us those trials in James. Jesus said before he returned to heaven that in this world there will be trials, but be of good cheer for he has overcome the world. IOW, he doesn't bring the trials, the world's system does and he will help us overcome them. He is greater than our trials.
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Post by Brad7 on Dec 17, 2007 20:44:36 GMT -5
PA is not a learning curve. It is practicing a fairly nasty thing. I feel the sentiment expressed in this thread is very much one of arrogance. It is one of " I am glad that I became a PA because I learned a lot about life". Please note the use of the word "I". Please think of others. It is not all about you. By your logic the porn actress is just somebody to help you to learn about yourself and human nature and help you cope with the sexual strains of life. It is all about you and your needs. What about the porn actress? What about anybod else at all.
Best wishes
Brad
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