facingit
Full Member
One day at a time
Posts: 111
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Post by facingit on Dec 10, 2007 22:32:51 GMT -5
Here is an "overheard" anecdote: I was sitting in the basement of a New York church one Saturday morning listening to a crisply dressed young man speak about his addiction. He had an unmistakeable air of wounded pride about him. He talked at length about his determination to avenge himself on his disease and "show" the many people who had pushed him to it. He bombarded us all with phrases such as "taking control of my life," "believing in myself," and "toughing it out." As we were listening to the smart young man, the man beside me - a small man in his late 40's wtih dreadlocks - leaned over and whispered, "I used to feel that way too, before I achieved low self-esteem." I have heard that pride is the enemy of hope and an addicts' worst enemy. Do you agree?
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Post by breakingfree on Dec 10, 2007 22:45:43 GMT -5
Hubris and Denial are brothers-in-arms.
When I start becoming to full of myself, Mrs BF gives me a good swift kick in the Hubris.
bf
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Post by sandpaper on Dec 11, 2007 0:17:39 GMT -5
In addition to my board journal, I also keep a written journal in which I occasionally put down various thoughts that pop into my mind about various things. On February 6, 2006, I made the following entry:
PRIDE:
Pig-headed Rude Indignant Delusional Egotistical
I won't claim that expressions of pride always involve each of these things, but they often do involve one or more. The point is, pride can be a significant barrier to recovery and, indeed, to any effort toward emotional growth.
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Post by addict70 on Dec 11, 2007 1:22:48 GMT -5
I do like to bask in my own awesomness from time to time.
Pride is considered to be the source of the other 6 deadly sins. It ranks #1 in the heiarchy. They knew it way back then and we're re-learning it today. If there's anything us westerners are guilty of it's being way to proud. Everything is about me and what I'm entitled to. But I'm getting off topic.
Interesting food for thought for me. I need to be careful especially in these early stages of my recovery not to build myself up too high, less I fall real hard when the going gets rough. Worst of all shifting blame to others or to my current life situation. I'm all full of well urine and vinegar ready to stamp out my problem in military terms. I cant say I'm exactly proud of it though. In 30 days I'm not going into work and gloating to my co-workers saying "Hey Joe guess what I did today?" "Just spent my 30th day not spending hours of time downloading P! Bet you wish you were that cool."
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Post by Clean2day on Dec 11, 2007 6:49:39 GMT -5
faceingit
We are on the same accountability thread and if you look through that and most everything else I have posted you will not find "how long" I have been "sober". Except to say it started Aug 11 2003. There is a reason for that.
When I try to start counting my days then I start thinking, "Look what I am doing...." See how great I am..."
That word Pride is the worst enemy I have. It also throw the devil out of heaven. Pride leads to the fall of us all,.
This is my HO but for me I am happy just to be free and sober today. That is all I really have anyway.
C2d
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Post by ethanm on Dec 11, 2007 13:41:30 GMT -5
+1, I like my progress-o-meter that I can add a day to every day, but in the grand scheme of things, all that matters is that right now, I'm doing something positive for my situation, and the feelings and urges that lead me down a dark path don't sit and fester. I b***h and moan a little more, and life is OK again.
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Post by mo4wo1 on Dec 11, 2007 14:11:03 GMT -5
Any time I have quit smoking ("any time I have", lol... ) I just forget. I just don't remember that I was a smoker. The day-counting trips me up too.
I am proud of the achievements my H has accomplished, though. And do speak it to him. His awards at work, his raise, his rise in authority, his having been P-free for over a year... I am proud of it all.
I have to ask this:
Am I wrong for that? And am I wrong to think he should be proud of his real accomplishments, such as those things mentioned, too? I want him to appropriately see his real good, not his over-glorified or imagined good. His real good.
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facingit
Full Member
One day at a time
Posts: 111
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Post by facingit on Dec 11, 2007 17:19:43 GMT -5
Cleantoday - Wow! I look forward to the day when I have that much sobriety under my belt. Does it "feel" any different than when you are newly sober?
Mo4 - I am certainly no psychologist, but from an addicts point of view I think it is dangerous to become "proud" of your recovery. I think this has to do with remembering that you are always an addict and staying vigilant. I think the healthier emotion attached to recovery - and perhaps anything else - is gratitude and thankfulness.
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Post by fragile on Dec 11, 2007 18:03:00 GMT -5
I am happy just to be free and sober today. of all the boasting and toasting, and whatever pride can do, this is BY FAR the best statement I've heard about the addiction. I'd like to steal that motto, but living it is better one day at a time and time flies by and things begin to change, and it's still one day at a time not a week at a time, not a month at a time, just for today.. tomorrow is another day, and tomorrow's today. So when tomorrow comes, it'll still be today, and another day to be free I'm confusing myself
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Post by petitjean on Dec 11, 2007 18:58:08 GMT -5
In French there are two words for pride: "fierté" (good) and "orgueil" (bad). I think we should be quietly "fier" when we have some small victory over addiction without boasting "orgueilleusement" about it to others. Low self-esteem doesn't help me. This remark is cryptically addressed to a 'Tribal Elder' on another thread who IMHO has been a tad "orgueilleux" with another member who is at a much earlier stage than he in recovery.
petitjean
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facingit
Full Member
One day at a time
Posts: 111
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Post by facingit on Dec 11, 2007 20:34:56 GMT -5
. Low self-esteem doesn't help me. This remark is cryptically addressed to a 'Tribal Elder' on another thread who IMHO has been a tad "orgueilleux" with another member who is at a much earlier stage than he in recovery. Low-self esteem is meant to be taken humorously, not literally. I think it is a cute way to invert our usual cultural assumptions about the importance of self-sufficiency in the recovery process. And I'm afraid you've lost me in that last paragraph - could you possibly reword it? I don't know what you're getting at.
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Post by Clean2day on Dec 12, 2007 1:10:53 GMT -5
Mo I don't think you are wrong, but when we start thinking "We Did..." then we are already starting to fall. Proud like "I got a promotion to ....." is OK but not to think that I am going to be/am somebody NO! I didn't say I have been clean since that time. I said I started 8-13-03. That is when I came to Jesus, confessed, and let Him do the work. I have fallen many times, sorry to say since then. Pastor Rick, whom I started my journey with, has told me many times "If your not tempted everyday, step back and take a look at what/where you are because if there is no temptation you are not walking with Jesus." It's all yours. But remember what you wrote after that: It's One Day At A Time" And sometimes it comes one second at a time. What? Just kidding. but thanks for a laugh. ;D C2d
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Post by fragile on Dec 12, 2007 1:16:01 GMT -5
hehe.. I thought it was funny I guess it's just one of the "wise-azz" statements I make now and then But really, think about it, when tomorrow comes, you're not gonna call it "tomorrow," you'll call it "today" And yes, sometimes it does come one second at a time. day 13 and 14 for me were rough... A little less careful at certain times and I might have slid back to the sewer
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Post by petitjean on Dec 12, 2007 18:38:43 GMT -5
@ facingit
Oh nothing really. I was reacting to something I read in another thread which annoyed me: a very 'proud' (wrong sort of proud) Tribal Elder with a long period of recovery behind him was scoffing at the ideas of a very new and uncertain member, trying to 'define' him as it were. Though let's be fair, said TE redeemed himself later with a much humbler comment in yet another thread. I'll leave it at that.
petitjean
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Post by neverending on Dec 13, 2007 15:58:27 GMT -5
I think the concept of pride should be in deserving praise from others, but mostly from yourself. If you strive to be the best you can and do the best you can, then people will be proud of you, however, the important part of that is, that you should strive to be proud of yourself above receiving praise from others.
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