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Post by fragile on Dec 10, 2007 3:20:59 GMT -5
At least that's how it worked for me. There's a girl from my youth that has been chasing me for a while, but I've been blind to it for such a long time. After signing up for SCF, and spending time here and just being away from p and mb, feelings of healthy love emerged. I noticed that she's exactly the person I've been wishing to marry. Now, yet at age of 18 and not ready for marriage, I know I'm ready for a healthy relationship with a girl  I haven't talked to her yet, but I've got to make my move soon  |
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Post by breakingfree on Dec 10, 2007 8:00:09 GMT -5
Congrats fragile,
I was married at the age of 21, way too young, it didn't last. But, you are certainly NOT too young to start developing a healthy relationship.
BTW, are you Italian- fragile, pronounced frahgeelA. One of my many favorite lines from the movie Christmas Story.
bf
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Post by fragile on Dec 10, 2007 13:00:46 GMT -5
LOL... Sometime I wish I was Italian  No, I'm russian  ... fragile isn't really my name lol. |
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chad32
Full Member
Becoming pure again...
Posts: 117
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Post by chad32 on Dec 10, 2007 17:44:10 GMT -5
Hi fragile,
Great news about your love life, and your changing attitudes. Keep going strong. Don't take things too fast - remember you're still in early stages of recovery.
You have very good English for a Russian (;-). And Chad isn't my real name either!
Chad
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Post by fragile on Dec 11, 2007 2:41:18 GMT -5
Nice name |
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Post by ItsTime on Dec 11, 2007 3:06:02 GMT -5
Good Day Gentlemen
I concur, I have been married for just a little over six months to a wonderful woman. I can tell a marked difference in my behavior to her if I am looking at porn. My actions to her are less genuine. When there is nothing other than her at the center of my attention I behave as I am suppose too. I have a mentor once tell me for a marriage to last the husband needs to love the wife as Christ loved the Church.
God Bless
Itstime
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Post by addict70 on Dec 11, 2007 3:25:39 GMT -5
My P addiction destroyed my marriage. The bottom line is for years I was'nt there for her. It's no different than infedelity. P had become my solace and lover, not my wife. So in the end I failed her. I know now I'm simply incapable of having a meaningful relationship until I'm clean.
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Post by breakingfree on Dec 11, 2007 8:31:42 GMT -5
. Congrats on this realization. IMO, makes both recovery and relationship building easier
bf
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Post by mo4wo1 on Dec 11, 2007 8:44:52 GMT -5
Yes, among many other things, P cannot exist in a truly healthy relationship... IMO.
"I noticed that she's exactly the person I've been wishing to marry."
I guess I'll be the one "wet blanket", here. Be careful of this. Your addiction will find it's way if you allow it. You can even convince yourself you're in love & want to marry someone to satisfy it. You may even find yourself marrying someone you know you don't love to satisfy it and/or protect it.
Be careful. Be sure. Be open, honest & forthcoming. And be patient. This work is hard.
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Post by fragile on Dec 12, 2007 18:02:51 GMT -5
mo4wo1, I'm fully aware of what you're saying... I'm excited/nervous/anxious about this whole situation, but I am alert that I'm still a recovering addict and I can't take too much at once, and also gotta be careful what the source of the feelings are. last few days, I did some serious thinking, and still do, so I'm not loose on the situation |
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Post by blahoox on Dec 13, 2007 23:02:58 GMT -5
Im not here trying to pick any fights or anything but I disagree with the notion of someone is too young to get married. I am a firm believer that Physical age is not the issue, but maturity. If your ready to step up to the role of being the head of a house hold and fufill the roles of a husband I say go for it. Google "Paul Washer Courtship" to listen to an excellent teaching he did on the subject. one of my favorite quotes from him is something like "I dont see anything wrong with a 18 year old man getting married... but I see everything wrong with a 35 year old Boy getting married."
Bless God
~JP
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Post by sparksilence on Dec 13, 2007 23:50:55 GMT -5
Congratulations, I wish I stopped when I was your age. But now at 25 I am going through pain, misery and insanity, trying to get back what I have lost.
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Post by fragile on Dec 14, 2007 4:05:40 GMT -5
Well, I will kind of burst it for myself here, but she doesn't feel the same about me... Kind of makes me think that I should try to stay away from love for a little bit.. lol.. it hurts like a freakin' bullet in the heart.
I'm not motivated to do anything right now, and I know it's all in my hands, it's my choice, but wow... Just as quick as it builds up, it can be destroyed?...
Well, maybe things will change, maybe something will work out, but I'll try to fix my situation and make a better "me" out of the current me and just be the best I can be.. .love will tag along, I know. Just a matter of when.
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chad32
Full Member
Becoming pure again...
Posts: 117
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Post by chad32 on Dec 14, 2007 17:41:14 GMT -5
Fragile,
I'm really sorry that the bubble has burst already. Don't let it burst you - keep strong and keep away from P. You are the important one at the moment - look after yourself and keep your heart clean and God will provide the right woman at the right time. Think about running up a good large total of clean days to give as a gift to the right woman (but don't necessarily tell her about it straight away!!)
Your friend,
Chad
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Post by fragile on Dec 16, 2007 3:15:20 GMT -5
No, I got over it fast... Literally, the next day I felt way better than the one before. I guess the anxiety and the nervousness was lifted up from my chest.
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