Can a male PA have a female therapist?

[petitjean]

My subject line says it all.

I've been checking out psychotherapists in my area and the only two that seem remotely suitable in terms of their professional orientation and specialisms are both female. One of them has a website with her photo and she's physically quite attractive.

I'm going to have to talk about some pretty sordid stuff while I'm in there and I want both her and me to feel safe.

Opinions welcome.

petitjean

[completelydone]

Only if they're not attractive to you. Come on, use some common sense here. How are you going to beat sex addiction (lust) if you can't concentrate on learning to not lust?

[truthorlie]

If I were you, I would nip it (PA) right in the bud, and go for the attractive one. Why p*ssyfoot around for months or years about your problems/issues - why not run straight forward and start dealing with them NOW. Pick the attractive one and if you end up having a "problem" with it, well, isn't that what YOU ARE TRYING TO FIX! And she's a doc, to boot!

[Johannes]

petitjean,

I've recently started therapy here with a female therapist (before, I always had men)--in the first session, I asked her whether she felt uncomfortable treating a male sex addict. It's not a problem.

If the therapist specializes in addictions, then you'll be absolutely fine, regardless of how attractive you may find her. Remember, this addiction isn't about sex. It's about loneliness, hurt, suffering, fear, things that we cover up with acting out.

Let's all recover,

Johannes

[petitjean]

Thanks for the opinions everybody. I guess I now need to take the plunge. Whoever's the nicer-looking psy won't come into it, that won't be a criterion.

petitjean

[lamaboy]

Hey Petitjean,

I think having a female therapist might actually be good. It can help you address the issues of secrecy and shame. For me, it would be easier to talk about porn addiction with another man. To talk about it with a woman would be harder, but more liberating. My fear would be that she would think I was a bad person. If a therapist can accept that you are a good person trying to sort out a problem, then that can be really freeing for you.

Good luck! And let us know how it goes.

- Tom

[gambaru]

Yes.

[Brad7]

I have a therapist. The most important thing is that your relationship with your therapist is always totally professional. This means absolutely no social contact. Therapy is usually less regulated than the medical profession so sometimes social relationships can creep in without being detected or the therapist being disciplined.

My therapist is a woman. Our relationship is totally professional and it works. If I met her on the street, I would expect her to ignore me. If you cannot have that sort of relationship with a therapist, then I suggest that you do not get a therapist - male or female. If your therapist detects that you cannot enter into a professional relationship with her/him, then it is likely that he/she will terminate the relationship immediately. For obvious reasons a female therapist might be more sensitive to this factor than a male one.

I have had both good therapists and bad ones. The bad ones do not stick to a professional relationship - male or female.

Best wishes

Brad

Best wishes

brad