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Post by So_fedup on Jul 16, 2007 11:55:54 GMT -5
Hey Glo.. I am having a hard time of it.. My Poor poor Kitty, Jinx (male Cat ) . Is having to be Crated, and he is Howling his pooor Little head off as I type this... Somehow, it reminds me of some of the SA's on this board.. lol... When they start to howl on and on about HOW the SO's are being soooo mean... Poor Jinx is having some transition and territory issues due to Baby Caiden coming home. It Breaks my heart to hear him cry on and on, and he is sitting inside the crate with his face right up to the iron door Grill, and he looks sooooo PATHETIC.... But, I simply Can't let him out. He has started to pee on the Carpets, my Sofa, esp where the Baby has been laying, and I SIMPLY CAN'T TOLERATE that... He is an inside cat, and litter box trained, and he is simply Acting out, because of the new Baby... His Sister has not shown any signs of acting out. She is simply ignoring the baby, as if to say, if I Acknowledge the Baby, then I WON'T BE the Baby anymore. lol... But, poor Jinx, he can't stand Change, or the new baby. I Won't allow him to piss on my sofa... Jinx is MY baby, and he knows that, and he is Pissed at me, because I have been holding the Baby. Its funny how that all Correlates with the Subject of this thread.. But, I wonder how many would even catch onto how it does.. And Some Feel that what the SO's say or how they Respond is Considered Flamming... Sometimes its just Simply stating how We feel... well, I guess I better stop.. or that Could be construed as flamming, and get me Banned.. of Course, I could be really close to getting Banned anyyways.. Whoooo Knows......... ;D anyways,, I am off to find my ear muffs... SFU
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Post by Curious Voyager on Jul 16, 2007 13:30:17 GMT -5
But, I wonder how many would even catch onto how it does.. And Some Feel that what the SO's say or how they Respond is Considered Flamming... Sometimes its just Simply stating how We feel... SFU I'm slow and it's taken me a couple days and some other interactions but I think I get it----
I'm either a cat pissing on the carpet and or furniture and making the place smell
OR
I'm that disgusting lump in the litter box waithing to be thrown out.
I'm a pornography addict and subject to compulsive masturbation
NO NO NO not really, that's not what I am. It's what I have done, what I might do but it is NOT what I am. I used to let this addiction define me just like you all do. But NO MORE.
I am a good person, it took a whole lot--way too much--re-education for me to discover that.
I have made and will make again all kinds of mistakes. But my mistakes, my sins, my errors they do NOT and should NOT define who or what I am.
I define me. I am a man, a good man who wants to be better.
When you flame me--you OBJECTIVEFY me--you de-humanize me. hell many of us here barely qualify for the category to start with. How helpful is it to INTENTIONALLY inflict harm or hate on what little humanity we still possess.
How you feel does matter. It might even be critical. The other side of that coin though does exist. How I feel might matter, don't you suppose?
Good gods the people I have been mean to, agressive with, violent, even physical with people in the past. No wonder I thought I was a monster.
The guilt, the shame, that OVERWHELMING sense that NOTHING I ever did or said would be right and that I COULD/WOULD never be worthwhile or GOOD.
That is all I ever wanted to be from boyhood until this very moment--just good--just to be good enough.
But I'm a porn addict--I can ever be good enough--Can I? No, I am one of the legion of no-account worthless pudwhacking porn purusing perverts. that's all I am, all I can ever be---in your world - maybe.
I don't have to accept that. I do not have to empower you to hurt me feelings. But I CHOOSE to give you that power. You CAN most certainly and without question hurt my feelings--hurt my soul . . .
. . . because I did learn to care and that comes at a cost. I'm not going to look back over my shoulder and let porn or the past define me--I need to---I have to LIVE for today and plan for tomorrow.
You all are the ones who do not understand. It is because what you feel and say is important--so very impostant here--that this thread even exists. It is becuause you have POWER here that the warning is posted.
Not to shut you up, not to stifle your feelings, not to set you up for banishment. It's because you DO matter that Wes posted this. It's because you DO matter that I am saying this.
Power requires responsibility. I am even today capable of deleivering tremendous physical harm to other individulas. That is power, it requires responsibility on my part.
You matter to me, that's what I am saying, and despite the ugliness that we PAs use in our pain, I am not alone in holding you as important.
Now you may while away you time and membership here as you see fit. I'll take everything I can from any here excepting one with as much grace and dignity as my damaged porn monkey self can tolerate and then when, as now, I feel compelled to speak. I will try to do so with decency and respect.
This is a tough path to walk. I can't do it alone. And in case you aren't in touch with your inner-CV self--this is equally to PAs, SAs, SOs, webmasters, lurkers, social scientists, and all other flora and fauna present here.
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Post by rosiemj on Jul 16, 2007 17:48:27 GMT -5
Hi Curious Voyager, We are not that powerful dear soul, just women who have been hurt to the point of no return almost every day. And sometimes it needs to be vented. You are working to recover and that is wonderful I heard that errors become mistakes when they are not corrected. So the errors of this addiction are just that when you take hold and do better and to correct them. I hope you feel better and do not take the posts too serious in your recovery. Take what you need from here and leave the rest. That is what I do and it works real nice. I feel you are doing well and I pray you continue to do so. You deserve to feel free and happy. God bless you Rosie
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Post by glofishy on Jul 17, 2007 1:07:20 GMT -5
*sigh* what's wrong with cats? They are such big babies! I think it's because we treat them like they are our babies.
That must really hurt you, having to put him in a crate. I wish there were pet psychologists that were for real that we can take them to so they can be comforted with change.
Take care of yourself, CV, you're a good man, period.
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Post by So_fedup on Jul 17, 2007 9:59:24 GMT -5
thanks Glo...
I think I am going to have to take him to his Vet, and have him put on Elavil. We had talked about this before, when he was still a Kitten, because he does not deal well with Change.
Hey CV...
I second what Glo said... Take care .. Okay..
SFU
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Post by lyssalanai on Jul 17, 2007 10:06:28 GMT -5
Hmm. Maybe thats what my cat needs. We're having problems with him. Every time something major happens, he acts out. -sigh-
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Post by So_fedup on Jul 17, 2007 11:13:00 GMT -5
I think I am going to have to take him to his Vet, and have him put on Elavil. We had talked about this before, when he was still a Kitten, because he does not deal well with Change. Hmm. Maybe thats what my cat needs. We're having problems with him. Every time something major happens, he acts out. -sigh- Hmmmm ... Lol.. Maybe that is JUST a MALE THING.... My Husband doesn't Deal well with Change either.... He HATES IT When I change the Furniture Around, He hates it When I CHANGE My Mind about things... He hates it when Say I am thinking of Fixing one thing for dinner, and then Go into the kitchen and make something else Entirely.... He hates it when I pick something out to wear, and then Put it on, and HATE IT, and then Go thru and try on 5 million different outfits until I find Just the Right thing to Wear... LOL... Maybe HE NEEDS SOME ELAVIL too... ;D Should I take him to the VET as well.. ? ;D ;D ;D Bahahahahahhaha... that was a Joke , btw... sooo please all you SA's, Don't take it Personal... He would find it Funny... SFU
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Post by lyssalanai on Jul 17, 2007 13:09:49 GMT -5
Luckily my husband doesn't have that problem. I'm the one who doesn't like things changed around on me. I have no problem chaging them, but if some does for me, they're in trouble... My 2 year old is like that too! OCD in the family, yea!
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Post by So_fedup on Jul 18, 2007 19:49:05 GMT -5
I just have one question ? Is there gonna be a Flogging before the Banning ? I like floggings !!! ;D JK ..
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Post by LookingUp on Jul 20, 2007 16:18:15 GMT -5
NO NO NO not really, that's not what I am. It's what I have done, what I might do but it is NOT what I am. I used to let this addiction define me just like you all do. But NO MORE. Great insight, CV. I no longer let my husband's addiction define me, either. It is freeing to let that go. It may or may not be something he does now - but, either way, it no longer defines me. I'm free of it. I sometimes forget and wallow in self-pity of how I didn't deserve it (and I didn't) - but I am learning to allow that to happen less and less and for shorter periods of time. My recovery isn't perfect but it's marching in a direction that I like. It took the SOs a couple years to help me grasp his addiction wasn't about ME - now I'm running with it, embracing it heart and soul. I'm thankful they were patient with me as my stubborn head refused to believe that truth. Neither should my victories because they're fleeting. I try to keep my eyes looking on the now and and towards future. Not on the pain of the past. Great quote! LookingUp
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Post by glofishy on Jul 22, 2007 3:33:17 GMT -5
Is this the type of flame that we're talking about? It was sent to me in a pm tonight by someone too chicken to send it with the handle they usually use on here:
glwngcnt New Member
member is offline
Joined: Jul 2007 Posts: 0 Hi « Message sent on Today at 0:14 »
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------- violent pornographic content deleted. sorry it took so long. CV \
Now, this idiot can be traced back to their IP address and matched with another account here. Are both accounts going to be banned now?
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susan
Junior Member
Posts: 96
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Post by susan on Jul 22, 2007 8:35:14 GMT -5
glo, I'm so very sorry that some coward sent that to you.
IP addresses can be changed, though, and it doesn't take much. Every time my H resets our internet box, our IP is different.
I hope whoever it was that sent that to you had a good time. Karma coming around is a real b!tch.
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Post by Valjean on Jul 22, 2007 8:49:01 GMT -5
That's pretty shocking. It saddens me that there are people like that here, a place that supposed to be for healing. I do hope this coward is removed from the community. I'm sure that something can be done, hopefully it is a static IP. It always strikes me that people who send messages like this are too full of anger, bitterness, resentment (I speak from experience ) to find happiness, and lead fullfilling lives. Whatever we're all working through, we are better than this. You don't seem the type of person to be affected too deeply by a childish message like that, shrug it off Hope you are well, Valjean
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Post by Elphie WWOTW on Jul 22, 2007 16:22:12 GMT -5
The flamer's member name says it all, folks.
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Post by glofishy on Jul 23, 2007 0:14:23 GMT -5
LOL I was gonna respond on the "bye" thread too, but it is gone. It's no biggie though.
Honestly, it sounds just like "gottabecool", who was banned for being a general idiot. It was my first thought and that's who FJ thought it could have been too, according to her pm to me earlier. As FJ noticed before, Tryingtowin looks, smells, and walks just like "gottabecool" did. And he'd fly off the handle in the exact same way too.
It's all hate. The pm to me, and the "bye" post using a friend's leaving as an opportunity to slam MAPA. It's just so ridiculous and transparent, both of them.
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