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Post by Webmaster on Jan 11, 2007 13:03:26 GMT -5
First of all, if you are a minor and struggling with pornography addiction, please don't be overly discouraged, and don't hate yourself for having a problem. Many of us here who are older certainly remember the powerful drives that brought us to pornography (for most of us, those drives haven't really decreased all that much). In a world that has become increasingly more sexualized, it is only to be expected that millions of young people will find themselves struggling with an addiction that leaves them feeling empty, lonely, and sad.
That being said, the Internet is a tricky place. This board is a place where people can come and talk about their recovery experiences. However, when minors engage in dialogue with adult strangers, it is very upsetting to many people here. They worry about your safety. Please feel free to read these boards and to learn all you can, but do not post here. I am sorry to exclude you, but I hope that what is written here will still be very helpful to you. I believe it can be.
I also invite you to look around you and consider whether or not you have a trusted friend, preferably someone older - perhaps a parent or a religious leader in whom you can confide. Please consider seeking their loving counsel.
I don't know you, but I know you have the potential for greatness. I know that this addiction can make you feel worthless and sad. I know that this time of life should be joyous, exciting and adventurous for you. Please do not give up on your desire to live without pornography in your life. Please do not feel alone, even though I have asked you not to post here. There are millions just like you who are struggling and seeking strength. I hope that as you read these pages, you will find that strength to let go of lust and porn in your life, so that you can truthfully say, "I never use pornography now."
Wes
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Post by InTransit on Jan 11, 2007 14:54:22 GMT -5
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Post by LLc on Jan 11, 2007 15:00:20 GMT -5
does this count for my journal too? either way, thanks wes for the site and all i've gotten from it. i'll refrain from posting in the future.
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Post by Valjean on Jan 11, 2007 15:07:15 GMT -5
Not to be facetious, but does this mean I'm effectively banned until April 12th?
Valjean
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Post by glofishy on Jan 11, 2007 16:00:46 GMT -5
Gosh, I have such mixed feelings about this Wes, but I certainly understand where you're coming from and why. I am one of those people that is concerned about the kids. When they receive good advice from guys that have long term recovery, I know it's good for them. That's not what worries me. What worries me is that we have people on here that are giving very inappropriate and what I believe is illegal advice to these kids. Rather than having the kids be effectively banned, I'd rather have the offenders banned and their IP addresses and posts reported to Cybertip. Perhaps a sticky on the main page warning people of that fact? I know this can prove to be a lot of work and I will certainly offer to help monitoring things in this regard. I have no problem with reporting predators of children on any level.
I guess it breaks my heart to see the kids being pushed aside when it's a few of the adults that are acting inappropriately and illegally.
Kids, please don't take this personally whatsover! It's not your fault. The fault lies completely with the adults that are acting inappropriately. They are the reason that Wes is wisely even considering this question, not because of you. His heart is in the right place and he really cares for you guys.
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Post by LeopoldMozart on Jan 11, 2007 16:16:19 GMT -5
Is anyone on this board encouraging minors, or anyone, to look at porn? Such posts should be deleted immediately.
Adolescent sexuality, like adolescent psychology, is very different from post adolescent and middle aged sexuality and psychology. I agree with Wes's decision.
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Post by tootrue2 on Jan 11, 2007 21:51:04 GMT -5
I think it was a great decision Wes and the right thing to do.
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Post by glofishy on Jan 12, 2007 11:39:17 GMT -5
As much as my heart aches for these kids, I have to agree that this was the best decision you could make. I know you thought about it long and hard before you did. This place isn't safe for them. Thanks for thinking of them so thoughtfully. You're right.
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Post by gpb on Jan 12, 2007 13:32:13 GMT -5
Hello, Wes;
As with the others, I agree with your stance. One of the things that Dr. Putnam, the Webmaster on the old OSA Board, really worried about was the legal liability he faced from untoward behavior there. That was one of the reasons (among several) that he decided to shut down that Site in January of 2002. I'd hate to see a suit launched against you for whatever reason.
Wise call. Take good care. Let's stay sober, just for today.
Grace and peace,
Guy
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Post by dazednconfused on Jan 12, 2007 15:55:36 GMT -5
Although this is a good thing Wes, I really feel for the teens. I have been looking for some on-line support for them and found very little. settingcaptivesfree.com has a on-line bible study for teens called the "purity challenge" The only thing about this is since I am not a teen, I do not know the contents well. familysafemedia.com has some resources to help your parents, youth ministers, etc.. help you. www.everystudent.com/au/wires/toxic.html- interesting articles for teens on porn addiction and what it's effects are. Unfortunately, you may have to educate people through what you are going through. pinecreekranch.org has a treatment program for teen PA/SA. They may be able to answer your questions if you contact them. If any of the older members on the board have found any of the above to be a bad idea, please let me know. I know little about pinecreek, it is too bad recoverynation doesn't have a teen section. peace
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Post by younggun on Jan 12, 2007 16:09:22 GMT -5
Ok, I better bite the bullet,
When I created my account I put my age to be at 18 as I feared that because I had admitted to looking at online P*, I could get in all sorts of trouble. So I lied about my age when I created my account. But I haven't covered it up in my journal or when I've been posting, the fact that I'm 17 and a half is no secret I feel.
So Wes, I guess it would be best for you to delete my account as well, as I wouldn't want to jeopardize the site in any way, as I know that would be really selfish of me in doing so. I guess during my recovery journey so far I've realised that selfish acts make up alot of this addiction, so this is definitely the right thing to do, even though its painful.
To all the wonderful people on the board that have helped me get to where I am, I have nothing but thanks. Ian, valjean, MJ, otto, tarus, stopmb and anyone else I may have missed, I will truely be thinking of you.
I guess I'll be back in 6 months when I'm no longer a minor. And Wes, I totally understand why you're doing this, I would have done the same in your position. It's for the greater good.
God Bless.
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Post by Webmaster on Jan 12, 2007 16:32:38 GMT -5
Thank you for understanding. I won't be deleting accounts. In the meantime, journal privately, and check in frequently just to read.
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Post by fallensoul92 on Jan 13, 2007 0:45:18 GMT -5
i suppose i understand where you are coming from. but i beleive there is a much better way to go about this. the help that i have received in the short time i have been here was quite helpfull. I understand that the fault of our hardships lies with irresponsible adults, but that doesn't help us one bit. The fact that it was someones fault will not help us, we are infected, and we need to be cured. And if you guys are not willing to continue to help then i fear were our country, the place which you have worked so hard to make a better place for us, is going to end up. So please don't dare jeapordize yourself with the law, at the expense of our futures, they dont compare.
I thank you for what you have done, but i am very dissappointed, and fearful where i might end up.
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Post by LookingUp on Jan 13, 2007 15:43:54 GMT -5
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recoverer
Full Member
No P since 27/06/07 and it is going to stay that way!
Posts: 155
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Post by recoverer on Jan 13, 2007 18:23:01 GMT -5
I am only 17 and a half (18 in June) and I believe this board has helped me find the right path, I am going to go on hiatus for 6 months then, I left this board once before and I had one long terrible slip that resulted in tears and unhappyness and my loss of faith in god. I am sorry if this upsets anyone, please don't delete my account.
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