Rorke's Drift
Junior Member
If your ship doesn't come in, swim out to meet it.
Posts: 66
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Post by Rorke's Drift on Dec 15, 2007 20:25:34 GMT -5
I wanted to ask everybody here -
What are you doing to keep P out of your life?
Everybody's circumstance may be a little different. I thought if we share ideas with each other, it would be of help for everybody.
For me, I have failed this battle MANY times, so I've gotten better at it. Here is what I am doing now -
1. I use this site daily for accountability, feedback, advice, knowledge, help.
2. I installed an intenet P filter for $50 per year (today).
3. I confessed to my sister on the phone about it (additional accountability).
4. Prayer and church life. Pray daily. Church weekly. Confession monthly.
Those are some of my strategies. What are yours?
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Post by addict70 on Dec 15, 2007 21:14:26 GMT -5
Right now in these early stages this one day commitment thing is paying off. I focus on right now and what I need to do to stay clean today. If I think about staying clean forever I find it overwhelming. So I commit every morning when I wake up and remind myself of that commitment throughout the day.
I dont entertain sexual thoughts of feelings. Acting out happens fast for me and it starts in my head, so that's where I need to block it. That means total vigilance and total chastity for now.
I chain smoke....alot (not recomended)
I write in my journal every day and I go back and read it, over and over. Both writing and reading have already helped me greatly.
Other plans are, get out more, do more, but I'm already slipping up on those. I feel drained by this, but I gotta push myself to get out there anyway. All this sitting around alone cant be good for me.
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Post by imtheoneincontrol on Dec 16, 2007 1:14:24 GMT -5
I masturbate. (Hey, let's be truthful)
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Post by imtheoneincontrol on Dec 16, 2007 1:20:52 GMT -5
That's not to say I don't do other things, too. I also meditate (I recommend Dr. Andrew Weil's music for self healing, and 8 meditations for optimum health.) And I post here. Music is a great companion. I find it impossible to act out when I'm hearing good jazz. I guess there are a lot of things that can calm you down if you let them do their job. So the trick I'm working on is to prolong the time before I act out. I'm trying to let the conflict rage in me for as long as possible - long enough to get to my meditational toolkit.
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Post by here2learn on Dec 16, 2007 2:49:39 GMT -5
Read the Quran. Ask God to help me control my desires towards only what is permissible.
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Post by manonmission on Dec 16, 2007 23:54:52 GMT -5
An alcoholic stays sober by not taking one more drink. A PA stays sober by not allowing inappropriate (whatever you have determined that to be) activities or thoughts. It has been my experience that focus on God and family relieves the pressure I felt. It is more of a total life transformation than a program. Just take one moment at a time and keep your mind focused and occupied with the good things of life. Pick your path and walk it. Peace...
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Post by fragile on Dec 17, 2007 0:10:07 GMT -5
I'm on this board every day.. have been for the last 19 days. I enrolled in SCF. I pray a lot wherever I may be because urges hit me at any time of day, even night.
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Post by ingodwetrust on Dec 17, 2007 5:21:31 GMT -5
I think it is very important to know WHY one wants to be free of P. I believe that it is impossible to stay free for a really long period of time if your brain associates P with something nice and pleasant. The brain is powerfull and it will trick you into doing what it wants as it wants to feel that nice numb realxing feeling again. So one must change its thoughts. Start associating P with something dirty and harmfull which is basically the truth as P is preventing you from achieving your full potential. Instead of having an average life with P you can have an excellent life without it. Once you have decided and came to a conclusion why you want life totally free of P then I think you need to block devils supply routes. Those suply routes are your eyes and thoughts. Watching women in a lusty kinna way is a sure way to go back to P. Thinking dirty thoughts is another. Masturbating is another as you will have to think dirty to masturbate and this will eventually get you back to P. At the end I will post something that I find very helpful even for those who are christians.
A young man came to the Prophet and said, "O Messenger of Allah! Give me permission to commit zina (unlawful sex)." The people surrounded him and rebuked him, saying, "Stop! Stop!" But the Prophet said, "Come close." The young man came to him, and he said, "Sit down," so he sat down. The Prophet said, "Would you like it (unlawful sex) for your mother?" He said, "No, by Allah, may I be ransomed for you." The Prophet said, "Neither do the people like it for their mothers." The Prophet said, "Would you like it for your daughter?" He said, "No, by Allah, may I be ransomed for you." The Prophet said, "Neither do the people like it for their daughters." The Prophet said, "Would you like it for your sister?" He said, "No, by Allah, may I be ransomed for you." The Prophet said, "Neither do the people like it for their sisters." The Prophet said, "Would you like it for your paternal aunt?" He said, "No, by Allah, O Allah's Messenger! May I be ransomed for you." The Prophet said, "Neither do the people like it for their paternal aunts." The Prophet said, "Would you like it for your maternal aunt?" He said, "No, by Allah, O Allah's Messenger! May I be ransomed for you." The Prophet said, "Neither do the people like it for their maternal aunts." Then the Prophet put his hand on him and said, "O Allah, forgive his sin, purify his heart, and guard his chastity." After that the young man never paid attention to anything of that nature.
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Post by thelegoguy on Dec 17, 2007 5:37:37 GMT -5
I find that just keeping up healthy friendships, calling people on a regular basis, helps. Also I would assume that using a laptop is less tempting than a desktop if you make a habit of only using it in public-er areas. For those worried about privacy, I've seen ads for a screen film from 3m that blocks viewing from angles I have to confess weekly. In a New Testament letter there is advice similar to ingodwetrust's Imam Ahmad quote. I'll have to find it.
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Post by thelegoguy on Dec 17, 2007 5:40:54 GMT -5
Oh, and not working at a hardware store with dirty old guys might help. Too bad for me
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Post by ingodwetrust on Dec 17, 2007 5:42:34 GMT -5
Yes in the beggining of a new testament there is a pasage talking about this. Here: Matt. 6:22 "The eye is the lamp of the body. So, if your eye is healthy, your whole body will be full of light; 23 but if your eye is unhealthy, your whole body will be full of darkness. If then the light in you is darkness, how great is the darkness!
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Post by thelegoguy on Dec 17, 2007 5:54:59 GMT -5
Yeah, but there's a letter from paul too, where he talks about considering everyone brothers and sisters, so to keep from impure thoughts
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Post by slamdunk on Dec 17, 2007 13:56:23 GMT -5
This is a very interesting and useful thread.
When thinking of how to answer this, I see two aspects to it - one, what do you do in terms of mindset: thought processes, short maxims that keep you focussed. And two, what do you actively do in terms of how do you keep yourself busy.
For the first part, the thought that I keep coming back to time and time again is how much MORE rewarding it will be to abstain and make to the end of, say, a week or a month, and celebrate that success, than it would be to cave in to these cravings now, for a short-term fix that would only result in subsequent feelings of guilt and shame. I also try to respond to any tempting thought, that could serve as a potential trigger, by meeting it immediately with an equal and opposite thought. Thus, the fleeting notion of 'entering {p-actress name} into google is bound to yield some interesting results' is nowadays knocked on the head with an immediate response of, 'interesting, but disgusting. And that is no longer you. All you'd be doing is abusing her, and abusing yourself. So forget it.'
In terms of what I actually DO... housework, e.g. cleaning, ironing etc. I am jogging a lot more (I do this right after posting on this site, or reading my bible etc., helps me to reinforce what I've learned, and burn off some energy. Also listen to some inspiring music while I do this). I go surfing quite a bit, I also used to be a keen amateur photographer and am starting to rediscover my passion for this.
All in all, there are so many healthier options than p!
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Post by Curious Voyager on Dec 17, 2007 15:37:12 GMT -5
Observation. There seems to be a shortage of real-world support structure and recovery activity. Anybody going to therapy, group meetings, face to face accountability partnering. . . .
Most of this seems focused on sobriety which is a good thing but sobriety isn't recovery. The fundamentals have to be changing.
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Post by ingodwetrust on Dec 18, 2007 4:16:08 GMT -5
Yes I think that if one wants a life totally free of P one has to change his way of thinking and viewing the world.
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