Post by BlackSpiral on Sept 8, 2007 13:20:31 GMT -5
The Value of Powerlessness
I just posted something in one of the Circle threads, about powerlessness - I think it's a very important concept, and I'm going to repost what I wrote here, because I think misunderstanding of it may drive some to resist the value of it.
The first step of powerlessness is something that certainly aggravates the pride of many of us; we take so much pride in our strength and power, whether that be mental or physical, and the acknowledgement of powerlessness is something that many of us buck against. I think, however, that we often buck against it needlessly - a little humility goes a long way.
---
The powerlessness angle is a psychological step, a way for the addict to recover hope and to accept the need for help. For most of us, we have experience of trying, struggling and failing to quit. We try this, that and the other thing, and they don't work - we find ourselves stumbling back into the addiction every time. The fact is, our experience shows we don't have the power we want to have over our addictive behaviour, that our pride would demand that we surely must have.
This pattern also brings with it another emotion; hopelessness. As we run in those cycles, we often begin to feel that we cannot quit; that all our efforts are in vain, and that ultimately, the whole thing is pointless because our failure has become inevitable. We feel the shadow of impending failure over us every single time we try to quit.
The admission of "powerlessness" is a significant mental step here. It's not the same as saying "I cannot have power" or "I will not have power", but to say that here, and now, in this place, I do not have the power I need to have - and that to find that power, I must seek outside of myself, to the higher power, to the wisdom and support of others, to the experiences and knowledge of people besides myself. And because we no longer need to rely solely on ourselves, because we are willingly allowing things we acknowledge as stronger or wiser than us guide and support us, we rekindle the hope. We no longer need to rely only on ourselves.
The fact is, many of us here have made this step without thinking about it. We have come here, seeking help and guidance, hoping that something outside of ourselves could give us the power or direction we wanted to find. We already felt powerless, felt that we didn't have the strength or wisdom we needed, and we sought it here - the only thing is, perhaps, we didn't yet frame it in words, or truly and humbly accept it for what it was.
We need to make this step, because this gives us the humility we need to simply accept that we need help - whether it is in the shape of support, kindness, wisdom or knowledge, or anything else - if we are to rid ourselves of the addiction. While we cling to our own pride, we can't accept and welcome that help with the open arms that we need to. And it's that help that often holds the power we need.
---
It is, in many way, like being a student; if we are not open to the idea that we don't know everything, we won't be open to learning. If we don't acknowledge that we aren't skilful, then we won't open ourselves to allowing someone who is skilful to teach us how to become so. And here, in our addiction, if we do not first acknowledge that we are powerless, if despite our experiences we cannot humbly submit to the simple idea that we lack the strength or wisdom inside ourselves, then we will not be open to seeking those things, to trying to find them from outside, to welcoming them with open arms.
We can find great strength through our humility.
I just posted something in one of the Circle threads, about powerlessness - I think it's a very important concept, and I'm going to repost what I wrote here, because I think misunderstanding of it may drive some to resist the value of it.
The first step of powerlessness is something that certainly aggravates the pride of many of us; we take so much pride in our strength and power, whether that be mental or physical, and the acknowledgement of powerlessness is something that many of us buck against. I think, however, that we often buck against it needlessly - a little humility goes a long way.
---
The powerlessness angle is a psychological step, a way for the addict to recover hope and to accept the need for help. For most of us, we have experience of trying, struggling and failing to quit. We try this, that and the other thing, and they don't work - we find ourselves stumbling back into the addiction every time. The fact is, our experience shows we don't have the power we want to have over our addictive behaviour, that our pride would demand that we surely must have.
This pattern also brings with it another emotion; hopelessness. As we run in those cycles, we often begin to feel that we cannot quit; that all our efforts are in vain, and that ultimately, the whole thing is pointless because our failure has become inevitable. We feel the shadow of impending failure over us every single time we try to quit.
The admission of "powerlessness" is a significant mental step here. It's not the same as saying "I cannot have power" or "I will not have power", but to say that here, and now, in this place, I do not have the power I need to have - and that to find that power, I must seek outside of myself, to the higher power, to the wisdom and support of others, to the experiences and knowledge of people besides myself. And because we no longer need to rely solely on ourselves, because we are willingly allowing things we acknowledge as stronger or wiser than us guide and support us, we rekindle the hope. We no longer need to rely only on ourselves.
The fact is, many of us here have made this step without thinking about it. We have come here, seeking help and guidance, hoping that something outside of ourselves could give us the power or direction we wanted to find. We already felt powerless, felt that we didn't have the strength or wisdom we needed, and we sought it here - the only thing is, perhaps, we didn't yet frame it in words, or truly and humbly accept it for what it was.
We need to make this step, because this gives us the humility we need to simply accept that we need help - whether it is in the shape of support, kindness, wisdom or knowledge, or anything else - if we are to rid ourselves of the addiction. While we cling to our own pride, we can't accept and welcome that help with the open arms that we need to. And it's that help that often holds the power we need.
---
It is, in many way, like being a student; if we are not open to the idea that we don't know everything, we won't be open to learning. If we don't acknowledge that we aren't skilful, then we won't open ourselves to allowing someone who is skilful to teach us how to become so. And here, in our addiction, if we do not first acknowledge that we are powerless, if despite our experiences we cannot humbly submit to the simple idea that we lack the strength or wisdom inside ourselves, then we will not be open to seeking those things, to trying to find them from outside, to welcoming them with open arms.
We can find great strength through our humility.